She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
