Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
