69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
