I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
