Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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