After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
