Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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