even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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