Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
