i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
