maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
