were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
