this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
