South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
