No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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