just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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