Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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