Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
