Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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