No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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