Where is the hickey?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
