Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
