just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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