Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
