How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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