MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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