im six kinds of drunk right now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
