Life is so much better after having sex.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
