i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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