Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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