dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
