So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
