I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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