I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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