He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
