Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
