she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
