Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
