Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
