There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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