Midget sex pt 2 tonight
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
