I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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