Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
