we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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