Dual....:-)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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