It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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