MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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