at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this just has baby written all over it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
