you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
