She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
