trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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