I just threw up on my dentist
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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