bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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