Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
