just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
