their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
