so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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