Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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