dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
