I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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