Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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