me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
