soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
