so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
