So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
