Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
