Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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