i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
