You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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