your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
