I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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