Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
