There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
