I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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