My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
