I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
