Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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