2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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